Long Time No Talkie!

Sorry I haven't spoke to you in sooo long :/ I've been mostly lazy lol but there is a lot of things to talk about! So much drama and shit I honestly don't wanna talk about it thou. It makes me depressed and ehhh! I'ma just gonna talk about the good. Sooo.... I met a new guy! His name is Kevin! He is really fuckin awesome and cute! We met at Badoo and he was just clicked, we talked for days just chatting, then we talked on the phone! At first I was like no, no this is not going to work He curses a lot but then I was like hold up I curse like a sailor to lol We like the same shit when it comes to Music, Shows, even Video Games! it's so easy talking to him and he is 20 years old. We had our first date on Saturday and it was awesome, we went to Cheesecake Factory, he took me home afterwards and we had our first kiss on 4/13/13 <3333 OMG the kiss was amazing! His lips are so soft and fluffy! I loved it and i cant stop thinking about him and he feels the same waaay! :D <3333 We're going to hang out today! <3 I'm so excited, I can't wait to see him and hang out and kiss him. I'm going to try to take my time with him, I want everything to be perfect with him!

Besides that awesome shit, My hair is growing!!!!! It's so big and beautiful! <33333 I love my hair so much! I'm taking care of it more! I have cold wave rods/ perm rods in my hair right now! it' called twist n curl! I never used these before so I'm excited it will come out nice and curly I hope! I recently I used the L.O.C. Method  ( Liquid. Oil. Cream) ! I used Liquid: Water, Oil: Extra Virgin Olive Olive (EVOO), and Cream: Shea Butter! <3 It works miracle! My hair never been so soft and moistured like this!!!

FOOD!!!! <3333

I've been doing really good with my makeup it looks so fuckin flawless! and awesome! <333

Okay I think I'm ready to tell you the bad news that happened to me! Soooo, As you noticed in my old post, I talked about my friend Christian and how much I like him. Well I recently told him I like him and instead of him telling me "You know Tia, you're an awesome girl and great friend but I don't see you like that" He acted like a fuckin jerk. He said I need a break to get over and we can't hang out or talk one on one anymore. :O The fuck nigga! and we can't hang out unless we are in a group of people! I was hella hurt and shit. but I got over him and he invited me to Six Flags with friends and I invited him to a movie/sleepover. we both didn't go to each others events cuz of money / transportation issues. Then On friday evening I just told him about how I felt  and here is what I said....

Dear Christian,
I honestly feel like shit everyday ever since we had that disagreement last week. I know you don't trust me anymore and you feel like I'm messed up in my head but I'm just confused. I feel so much like shit lately and I feel so alone, I wish I can talk to you about how I feel and everything about life right now cuz I feel like I'm suffocating in my own home but I'm scared you're going to reject me again and be like "Why the fucked you called me?" . I wish I never told you how I feel about you that night cuz I knew something like this will happen, but I remember what you said ...you said "How can I trust you if you lying to me, since I tell you everything about Kendall and Nicole you can use that against me".......  idk what type of friends you had but I would never do anything so fuckin shady. everything you told me I kept to myself and never told anyone. I honestly wish you nothing but the best for you, Every advice I gave to you was honest and the truth. I know this sounds super cheesy but I finally found someone that is exactly like me, I love my whole crew but there's no one in my crew that had the similar issues in their life til I met you. Family issues, Friendship issues, Love issues, even sex issues lol. You're crazy and wild and love having fun even if were not doing anything. I was trying to find so many people like that and I failed til i met you. and I honestly dont want to lose you now. I dont want it to be awkward anymore, I want you to feel comfortable telling me stuff again. You don't have to worry about me using that against you cuz i swear on my life that i would never do that to you. Please believe me I would do anything to just erase that night and I know you have to alot to talk me about. I just want it to be normal again. :,( I want a second chance at least. i love the odd squad and hanging out with you guys but I love our talks more than anything, cuz its real and its true shit you know. The only time I ever lied to you was that night so I wouldn't have to admit that I liked you and I sometimes feel alone with the group. Can you please give a second chance , our friendship was going great and it shouldn't get fucked up for feelings that faded away. I'm already dating someone and I really like him and he likes me too. His name is Kevin and is Latino just the way i like my men lol ...  I know you need to time to trust me again but I wanted just to tell you once again. I'm so sorry and please believe me.. you can trust me, and whenever you need to talk to someone i'm here  I really would like to hang out again and just talk about everything and work everything out with our friendship. I'll buy your favorite pizza BBQ chicken pizza at Tumbys :DDD and just chill if you want to Just let me know before spring break is over. Just give me another chance..Just At Least THINK About It okay?. I don't want to lose a friend when everything was going so well between us.  Besides that I wish everything is going good with you and the decision you made between Nicole and Kendall. And if you need a friend... call me. 
Sincerely,
Black Panther. lol

This motherfuckaaa didn't write back at all. He just read it! -____- Apparently he doesnt give any fucks about our friendship. and it's sad! Yes, I did like him alot but that wasn't the only reason I was his friend. i liked him as a friend too! It was easy to talk to him and he is so fuckin hilarious. I thought we would be friend for so long! but nope. our friendship didn't even last 3 months, smh well fuck him. It really broke my heart, I thought he would understand and give me a second chance and be cool with it but  instead he acted like a fuckin evil brat. I was the only one that even gave a fuck about him and his issues. I was there for him early as fuck in the morning and late as fuck at night! When he needed a friend to talk to and everything. And it wasn't cuz I liked him it because I ACTUALLY GAVE A FUCK! I'm honestly a good friend like that! People know they can trust me and rely on me cuz I am always there for them. This whole situation is so fuckin stupid and childish. I would love to my friendship back with him that doesn't seem possible at all. I'm too much of a nice person. I'm always there for people but no one is there for me. fuckin great :,(

Life goes on...and you lose a friend another one is gain.

I'm happy I found Kevin tho. Everything is going great between Us and that's what makes me happy. 

and my hair is growing. All my friends (my crew) are now 21! So we can go clubbing and go bar hopping. My family and me are getting better. California is getting warmer so beach time here I can come. Staying positive and hopeful is all I can do. 

Love, 

Tia <3